just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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