Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize