God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
