He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Thank you for not boning my boss.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
