Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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