I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
