Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
