just come out here and I will go home with you...
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
