Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
