therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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