we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
