Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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