You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Do you still have your period?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
