i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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