just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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