Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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