I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
