I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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