lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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