their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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