And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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