This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
