toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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