Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
