Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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