The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
