Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
