Can Purell be used as lube?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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