omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
