Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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