I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
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