I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
