? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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