Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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