He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He? As in you personified your dick?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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