My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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