you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
