Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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