oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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