this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
