I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
