I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
