well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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