wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
