We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Operation Purity has been aborted
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Randomize
