you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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