I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I FOUND THE LEGS
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
