Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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