i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
