If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize