Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
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