omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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