Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
