he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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