Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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