She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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