He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
