Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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