i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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