You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
