Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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