he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
