apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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