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Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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