Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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