I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
