I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
ttyl tear gas
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
